People tell me over and over, before, during and even after that the Master Cleanse is probably the worst cleanse anyone can do. And looking at the ingredients, I couldn’t agree more. Lemon juice, water, cayenne pepper and maple syrup for days would fuck anyone up. I’ve done the research. The lack of protein, vitamins and other nutrients would surely damage my body.
Some call my reason for doing it “stupid”. Others, “crazy”. Honestly, I didn’t do for the weight loss (I don’t have any weight to lose). Nor did I do it for the detox (I believe shiting is a good enough detox). Nor because Beyonce did it (I love her music by the way). I did it because lately, I’ve been making too many empty promises to myself.
Now that may be a little difficult to understand, but if you take a minute to reflect upon your past and count how many times you have said “I am going to…” or “I want to…” and you never went through with it, then you’d understand where I’m coming from when I say “empty promises.”
Who am I doing this for? Who am I trying to prove that I have the will power to do it? The most important person.. myself of course. Joe Nguyen. There are very little consequences when I fail to not perform for myself. I’m done making empty promises to myself. Let’s prove it. Although the Master Cleanse actually lasts for 10 days, I’m going for 5. I can’t afford the muscle loss. So here was the game plan that I was going to stick with.
Goal:
5 days.
No solid foods.
2 liters of “lemon water” per day.
Record my thoughts and behavior for the next 5 days.
Share it with the world.
Day 1: Monday
8:30 Hunger
9:00 Extreme irritation - Just knowing that I can’t have any food
9:30 Music is my savior - Talking to my coworker helps (she’s on the cleanse too)
9:50 Christian makes me laugh - Hunger subsides
10:20 Ping pong brightens my day. I feel motivated again. Hunger spikes and subsides. Missing something…
10:35 Thinking about food excessively - notice that it’s not even a physical hunger - we want what we can’t have
11:13 Proactive calls - started doodling and not even noticing. Pictures of food
11:43 The realization of obstacles to accomplish while on this plan - must accomplish goals!
11:45 For without struggle, there is no progress!
12:00 A hunger surge! Shit! Owl city chills me out! Lunch time! Need to get out of the office. Leave with Master Cleansing co-workers (there are 3 of us total)
During lunch, we leave for the park. Away from the office. I don’t take any notes here, but the green grass and warm weather puts me to sleep under the shade.
2:00 Must stay goal oriented. Get work done, love music, stay happy!
5:24 Work day done. Full of energy and feeling awesome!
7:00 Roommates burritos smell so good! fuck lemon juice!
8:00 Watched heroes and no reminder of food
10:00 Watched the movie, Taken - no hunger
1:00 Meeting with friend about side project
2:30 Bed time. Hungry.
Basically these are the exact notes I took that day. I agree that they lack an emotional thought process, but I wasn’t sure how to note take this experience exactly. For the other Master Cleanse Blog Posts, I won’t do this time outline. Instead, I’ll just write about my experiences and the lessons I’ve learned about myself. The first day there wasn’t much thinking, just doing. The next blog post will tell you more about my mental change.
Having nothing solid to chew on for a whole day was a very unorthodox for me. It was tough, but compared to the other days, this was nothing. I almost killed a man. Almost. Of 3 parts, read on for part 2 of Joe Nguyen on the Master Cleanse.
